Friday, November 21, 2008


When you are still single and still searching... for the elusive one true love, welcome to the the realm of "Insecurity". You start to question yourself, question the person you are attracted to and ultimately, question your sanity.
A friend is mighty confused these days and the sense of insecurity has overwhelmed and obliterated all the joy one should cherish in the beginning of a relationship.
I think it's because we live in a result oriented world and often enough the process is a means to the end. We are so focused on the end result, we forget to enjoy the process. We live in the future rather than in the moment, in the flow of things.
When this friend started to ask me a lot of hypothetical "what if" questions, which I have no answer to, I said STOP. What's the worst case scenario here? The worst case is you two don't work out. The thing is, should you work yourself into a frenzy, worrying about what might or might not happen and miss out all the happiness now?
I am a firm believer in living in the moment and the process is as important, if not more important, than the result. So what if the lunch date won't turn into a permanent relationship? The least and most you can do, is enjoy the lunch with the person you like.
Order a dessert and share it. Savor the moment when you both dip your fork into it. When you miss that person, go and eat the dessert alone and feel his/her presence. When things don't work out, go and eat that dessert again in tears. Love is a bitter sweet experience, and because of that special someone, this dessert will forever be transformed and committed to your memory box with him/her.
Nobody could predict how things will pand out in the future. The most you can do is to live in the present, coz the present is a gift.
This is a bouquet of pale green sweet peas and white chrysanthemums I bought from the flower stall in our neighborhood.


pascale said...

It's so well written.
And you are absolutely right.
But those in love are blind...and we can't teach what color red is when someone is blind except tell them what red means to us..sigh.

I would probably have given you standing ovation if I was single to this post.

bonnie said...

Thanks, you are always so generous with your comments!!

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